Yeah. I say ‘Fuck’ a lot.
What do I have to say to this year, so far………Why don’t you just Fuck Off?
The personal blows I am experiencing in 2023 have been spectacular in number and scope. I feel like I am fighting for all that is important in my life…and not sure I am winning.
Fuckety Fuck Fuck.
Who wants cake?
Amirah Kassem of Flour Shop has created this over the top cake that is so many layers of fun. Multi-colored vanilla cake, multi-colored cream cheese icing and a delightful deluge of colorful candies that spill out when you cut into it.
Just what my potty mouth and heavy soul need.
Life Of The Party Layer Cake
Ingredients:
Vanilla Cake Layers (recipe follows)
Cream Cheese Icing (recipe follows)
1½ cups sprinkles, chocolate disks, dried fruits, candied citrus peel, and/or candied nuts (for filling)
Directions:
1. Use a 2-inch ring cutter to punch a hole in center of each cake except orange cake.
2. Place half of yellow icing in piping bag (a resealable bag with a corner cut off also will work).
3. Pipe a circle of icing onto a serving plate. Place black cake on top and pipe several rings of icing on top of cake. Stack pink cake on top, lining up center holes, and pipe several rings of icing on top. Repeat with red, yellow, and green cakes.
4. Add desired fillings to hole in center of cake. Place orange cake on top to close.
5. Frost outside of cake in an even layer. (It doesn’t need to be perfect; this is the crumb coat to keep stray crumbs and cake pieces from coming loose during the cake decorating process). Chill, uncovered, until icing is firm, about 1 hour.
6. Coat cake in another layer of icing, trying to make it even. If the icing isn’t firm, chill another 30 minutes (important when you add the other colors).
7. Divide the reserved 1 cup icing among 4 small bowls and add orange, green, red, and black food coloring to reach desired hue.
8. Place dollops of each color of icing all over cake. Run scraper around cake in one continuous motion to create smooth streaks of color.
Do ahead: Cake can be made 1 day ahead. Store uncovered in the refrigerator.
Serves 8
Vanilla Cake Layers
Ingredients:
2⅔ cups (335g) flour
1 Tbs baking powder
½ tsp salt
1½ cups (300g) sugar
¾ cup unsalted butter, softened
3 large eggs
1⅓ cups whole milk
1 Tbs vanilla extract
Orange, green, yellow, red, pink, and black food coloring
Directions:
1. Place a rack in center of oven and preheat to 350°F. Lightly coat six (6-inch) pans with nonstick spray. Line bottom of each pan with a round of parchment paper. Lightly coat parchment with nonstick spray.
2. Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.
3. Using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat sugar and butter in a large bowl until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Scrape down sides of bowl as needed. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
4. Combine milk and vanilla in a measuring cup.
5. Reduce mixer speed to low and beat in dry ingredients in 3 additions, alternating with milk mixture in 2 additions. Mix well after each addition.
6. Divide batter evenly among 6 small bowls (If using a scale, each should weigh about 200g).
7. Color batter in each bowl with orange, green, yellow, red, pink, and black food coloring, adding and stirring in until you reach desired hue.
8. Scrape a color of batter into each prepared pan then smooth surface.
9. Bake cakes, rotating pans halfway through if browning too much in one spot, until tops spring back when very gently pressed and a tester (inserted all the way to the bottom in center of each cake) comes out clean, 16–20 minutes.
10. Transfer pans to wire racks and cool cakes in pans for 10 minutes. Run a small knife around inside of pans to loosen cakes, then turn out onto racks. Remove parchment and let cool completely.
Cream Cheese Icing
Ingredients:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 (8oz) packages chilled cream cheese, cut into pieces
1 Tbs vanilla extract
2 lbs (907g) confectioners’ sugar
2 Tbs fresh lemon juice
½ tsp salt
Yellow, orange, green, red, and black food coloring
Directions:
1. Using a mixer, beat butter on medium speed in a large bowl until smooth. Add cream cheese a few pieces at a time, beating until smooth.
2. Beat in vanilla, then reduce speed to low and add confectioners’ sugar a little at a time, beating until smooth.
3. Mix in lemon juice and salt.
4. Scoop 1 cup icing into a small bowl and set aside. Add a few drops yellow food coloring to icing in a large bowl, stir well then add more food coloring until you reach desired hue.
Recipes from Bon Appétit
Let’s dance that cake off.
Today’s song comes from Brooklyn-based band Native Sun. It’s emotional and beautiful and just what I needed right now.
“And she looks at the rain
And she dances with the pain”
Check out Native Sun on the band’s Website and Bandcamp where you can buy their music and learn of upcoming shows on the US east coast.
Cheers!