Corned beef deserves some corny jokes (Or does it? Tough. Here goes.)

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.

Q: Where do you find a one legged dog?
A: Where you left it.

Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.

Q: What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A: A cartoon.

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!

Q: How do you turn soup into gold?
A: Add twenty four carrots!

Q: What did one plate say to the other?
A: Dinner’s on me.

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.

And on that note, I’ll stop.

This recipe to corn your own beef requires brining for 8 days. That makes it impossible to serve for dinner tomorrow if you were still looking for Irish recipe ideas.

No worries if you really want corned beef tomorrow. Save the homemade brine recipe for next time and use a purchased corned beef. The vegetables and sauces are super easy to prepare. I loved the spicy horseradish cream. And what is not to love about a mustard sauce spiked with Guinness?

Homemade Irish Corned Beef And Vegetables With Horseradish Cream & Guinness Mustard

Ingredients for Brine:

6 cups water
2 cups lager beer
1 1/2 cups coarse kosher salt
1 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1/4 cup pickling spices
1 6- to 8-pound flat-cut beef brisket, trimmed, with some fat remaining

Ingredients for corned beef and vegetables:

1 12-ounce bottle Guinness stout
4 bay leaves
1 tablespoon coriander seeds
2 whole allspice
1 dried red chile, sliced in half
Cheesecloth
12 baby turnips, trimmed, or 3 medium turnips or rutabagas, peeled, quartered
8 unpeeled medium white-skinned or red-skinned potatoes (about 3 pounds)
6 medium carrots
4 medium onions, peeled, halved through root ends
2 medium parsnips, peeled, cut into 2-inch lengths
1 2-pound head of cabbage, quartered
Horseradish Cream (recipe follows)
Guinness Mustard (recipe follows)

Directions for brine:

1. Pour water and beer into large deep roasting pan.

2. Add coarse salt; stir until dissolved. Add sugar; stir until dissolved. Mix in pickling spices.

3. Pierce brisket all over with tip of small sharp knife. Submerge brisket in liquid, then top with heavy platter to weigh down. Cover and refrigerate 4 days.

4. Remove brisket from brine. Stir liquid to blend. Return brisket to brine; top with heavy platter. Cover; refrigerate 4 days.

5. Remove brisket from brine. Rinse with cold running water. Can be made 2 days ahead. Wrap corned beef in plastic, cover with foil, and refrigerate.

Directions for corned beef and vegetables:

1. Place corned beef in very large wide pot. Add stout and enough water to cover by 1 inch.

2. Wrap cheesecloth around bay leaves, coriander seeds, allspice, and chile, enclosing completely, and tie with kitchen string to secure.

3. Add spice bag to pot with beef; bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until beef is tender, about 2 1/4 hours. Transfer beef to large baking sheet.

4. Add turnips and all remaining vegetables to liquid in pot; bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium and boil gently until all vegetables are tender, about 25 minutes.

5. Using slotted spoon, transfer vegetables to baking sheet with beef. Return beef to pot and rewarm 5 minutes. Discard spice bag.

6. Cut beef against grain into 1/4-inch thick slices. Arrange beef and vegetables on platter. Serve with Horseradish Cream and Guinness Mustard.

Serves 8

Recipe from Bon Appétit Magazine

Horseradish Cream

Ingredients:

1 cup sour cream
6 tablespoons prepared white horseradish
1 tablespoon finely chopped dill pickle
1 tablespoon chopped fresh chives or green onion tops

Directions:

1. Whisk all ingredients in small bowl to blend. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours. Can be made 2 days ahead.

Makes about 1 1/2 cups

Guinness Mustard

Ingredients:

1/2 cup coarse-grained Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons regular Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons Guinness stout
1 tablespoon minced shallot
1 teaspoon golden brown sugar

Directions:

1. Whisk all ingredients in small bowl to blend. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours. Can be made 2 days ahead.

Michelle Lawless is an Irish folk singer. Her songs are all as beautiful as this one.

Check out Michelle Lawless on Bandcamp, where you can get her music.

Cheers!